I truthfully need an opinion :)
#1
Hi there AC community! Ive been around for a while to know that there are some clever minds out there whose opinion i would consider when facing any trouble, so without any delay here i present all of ya with a poem/song/??? thinggy i wrote 4 years ago to a lover of mine. As I am spanish and she was polish we both liked it a lot, but id love native language speakers opinion on its characteristics/troubles/liking.. you name it.
It speaks about me dreaming Im with her and how we met and the realization that she is no longer with me as we went to our own countries.

Suddenly I wake up, in front I have your face
such is your beauty that my heart pumps insane.
I try to sleep again and bring you by my side
´cause being with you is the best thing in my live.
I start thinking about the fun we had this night,
how since we met you wanted some "fight"
I take out my clothes, and you do the same,
our two bodies naked dancing with no shame.
But something goes wrong, I feel a cold pain
strange thoughts are invading my brain.

I´m seeing myself walking down the seaside,
me, my polish friends and a lot of "birra".
We are going to meet some people who are making a party,
at last we come to see them, they all seem funny and happy
but one girl calls my attention, love invades my heart
what the fuck is an angel doing here on earth?

From that day on we meet just from time to time
But the day will come when I´ll make her only mine
because sec to sec, my feelings grow so high.

One Friday I´m going with some friends to Brighton
Asia (thats her name) is coming, what a great situation!
We are waiting in the train, see doesn´t seem to come :-(
and when we start moving she appears and says: -"Hello"!
Then in the rave i give her some ecstasy
/and i take two
What a night! Its like a fantasy
/but its not true.
Because that day Asia was after another guy
So I´ll have to wait and never again be shy.

Now the day has come, I am well prepared
when i first see her, I wont get scared...
Oh,Christ There she is,what should I do?
Fuck it! Ill just go and say: -"I LOVE YOU!".

From that day on, time runs so fast
that everything seems, just thing of the past.
Now its just another day, don´t know which month
what I really do know is I´m feeling cold.
And while the sun rises and the birds sing
is when I realise, it was only a dream.
But I still taste your kisses, still feel your touch
´cause this night my darling, we two were so close.



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#2
I honestly believe that poems do not deserve any sort of comment. "The poet doesn't invent. He listens.", said J. Cocteau. Who are we to criticize what others hear?
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#3
* Cemer friends pauly. He cool.
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